I'm going to start this article off with a message from the great Mya Angelou "if someone reveals themselves to you, believe them." Why do we spend so much wasted time on dealing with people whom we know aren't any good for us. A lot of times they drop little hints threw out the relationship that something maybe wrong they ass or that they crazy as hell . Stop thinking you can change people. You can't. Letting go can be an easy process if we stop waiting six or seven years into the relationship to do anything about it. I'm going to break letting go' down into two categories.' Letting go' of the relationship itself, and letting go of the person who made you suffered during the relationship. Hopefully this will be beneficial to you in some way.
If you are dating a man or woman who doesn't want kids and you do let it go'. If you are dating someone that likes to argue and you don't let it go'. If you feel you aren't sexually compatible with that person let it go", because once you let love sneak up in there it will become harder and harder to get out of the relationship. Pay attention to the little things. Only you know what you can and can't tolerate. If you are dating someone who doesn't have family values and you want a family let it go'. If you are dating someone with no ambitions, and you have goals let it go'. Do you see where I am going with this? Basically if you and the person don't share the same views on life how do you expect to combine the two. Letting go of the person can be a little harder than getting over the relationship aspect. A lot of us have kids in these relationships and have to deal with the baby's mother or father. Starting over is the best way to get over the person. Get rid of anything that reminds you of the love you had especially if this person hurt you in any way. It is those moments where you would start to remember the good times, and start to second guess yourself. Go ahead and remove pictures from all over the house unless there in your child's bedroom. Don't wear old jewelry that they bought you or try to be friends with them. Be civil, but don't try to be buddies. By trying to be friends only leaves room for you to act on your feelings at that particular moment. In the end you will see that letting go' of the relationship and person was beneficial to you and your children. It allows you remove bitterness from your heart and move on.
I agree with everything you wrote. So true. And I have experienced a romantic situation with the mother of my two youngest daughters where, I stayed because I put the family aspect, but looking back, long after the dust settled I realized how I should have let go once I knew my heart was no longer into the woman and her heart not so much into me either.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, all I could do was accept the fact that I didn't believe her when she proved to be who she proved to be.
Great post.
Letting go is definetly not as easy as it sounds, but at some point we have to take responsibility for the things that we are willing to tolerate. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou speaking some truth here...it's easy to rationalize away the little red flags until you're knee deep and it's harder to let go of the feelings....definitely been there and it's one of the main reasons I don't do the "can we still be friends" thing after a break-up. It's too easy to get sucked back in and you know you don't have any business getting back into the situation, but we all live and learn.
ReplyDeleteI'm a firm believer in what could happen did happen. Let it go before it's too late.Feelings will always win over common sense.
ReplyDeleteyeah I def stayed in a relationship long after I should have for the kids; afterwards, tho, I made it a rule to "not move backwards" as in- if we broke up then we're BROKEN UP and there's no rekindling. The reason for the breakup will, for the most part, always be valid.
ReplyDeleteGood post!
i agree that is a hard thing to do wit 'letting go' but like u say it has to b done.
ReplyDelete@ Toya...Yep it is what it is. Thanks 4 stopping by
ReplyDelete