Thursday, May 27, 2010

My Mind Is Clear - Clear Is My Mind

Frustrated & Perplexed
Miserable without
A doubt
My path has darkened
Darkened has my path

You’ve Stolen
My Faith
My Esteem
My Joy
Leaving Me Damaged
Damaged me Leaving

Blinded by
My love for you
I wanted what I wanted
Leaving me vulnerable
Open to your deceit
You’ve drained me
Physically & Emotionally
Exhausting all Possibilities
Possibilities all Exhausted

But, only God
Calms the
Deadliest Storms
Replenishing my soul
Nurturing My Spirit
I’m free of your reign
Ready to start over
My Mind is clear
Clear is my Mind

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Love Doctor

"Loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you, but trusting them not to"

A memory of true love is like a favorite song; No matter how many times it plays, You never get tired of it."

"You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without."

Love is not enough It must be the foundation the cornerstone-but not the complete structure It is much too pliable too yielding. Bette Davis

Love is blind, yet we use our eyes to determined how we feel

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Who's ever right anyway? "The Harmful affects of words"

You have to be careful with the words you use when you are in a relationship, because the nature of the words you use can be the difference between the progression and regression of your relationship. A lot of couples tend to say things that they do not mean when they are angry. That usually leads to a lot of I of I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, or I was just upset . You need to avoid that as much as possible. My mother always used to tell me to 'pick my battles", but that is often hard to do. Sometimes we as men can often get caught up in trying to be right even when we are at times and lose sight of the discussion. No offense, but men have a need to make sense and sometimes when the conversation doesn't make sense we end up in a verbal battle of words. In order to sustain a healthy relationship with your significant other you have to concentrate on building each other up, not putting each other down.
Words affect many different faucets of your relationships. You have to communicate when you are in a relationship. Sometimes a simple" how was your day" or "thank you" can go a long way when you are with someone. Telling your partner that you love them or miss them can at often times erase a certain level of doubt that your partner may have about your level of commitment. In other words tell your partner how you feel early and often. You never want to say anything that can make your significant other feel unappreciated , low ,or stupid. When you look back on your disagreements you will realize that there were a few words that elevated your discussion from a conversation into an argument.
Words also can contribute to the trust in your relationship or lack there of. You need to be honest even when seems like it may not be what the person wants to hear. At least when they decide on whether or not they want to resume being with you that they have everything that they need to know right in front of them. Being discrete can make the person believe you are lying even when you are not. Don't look it as telling them your every move. Look at it as being honest and eliminating any room for doubt. This is hard to do, but it is necessary. The more you tell the truth the better things are for you in the long run. Remember when you used to tell her that you were going out with your home boys and she would get mad. Now she is asking you to go out with them, because she is confident that you are where you say you are going to be. Just remember that everything that you say in a relationship will be used against you, so if you don't want to keep explaining yourself or apologizing don't keep digging ditches that you can't get out of.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Breaking Up Sorry: We Can't Be Friends

When you break up with someone, can you still remain friends? I’d say friends no! Cordial yes…. Some may think it’s a good idea because you used to love them at one point in your life. Would that change because the two of you have broken up? Probably not, but what if that person hurt you in a way that you will not be able to forget what he/she has done. Note that I said "forget" and not forgive. See it’s easier to me to forgive a person than it is to forget. I’m sure that their must have been things that originally attracted you to that person in the first place, but personally that's how couples end up making up to breaking up. Maybe they’re still funny, smart, and good looking, but that to me doesn’t change what he or she has done. I’m not telling you to be bitter; I’m just telling you to let the past relationship define itself. If you have kids then being cordial has even greater value, but let’s not pitch our kids falls hope. Mommy and Daddy trying to do things like old times can definitely confuse your kids into thinking that you will be one happy family again. I think trying to be friends cause us to ignore how painful it might be just to see that person. This keeps us from ever really moving forward with our lives and also frustrating for the people around us. What do you think?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Pre-nups: Yay or Nay

I’m deadlocked on this issue!
When people sign a prenuptial agreement they agree, before they get married, how to divide up assets in the event of a divorce! WTF Man ! What gets me is the whole conflict in them: the position of “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you”, with the caveat of “oh, baby but just in case” can you sign this.I do understand the practical level about how prenups are – practical, but on the level of love, I don’t see how you’re allowed to hedge your bets when it comes to marriage! I thought marriage was the ultimate expression of love. Signing a prenups makes marriage an ultimate expression of love with an asterisk *on the side. If you build together than there should be an equal value split amongst the two.
On the flip side if I’m a well to do and you come into the relationship with a bag (lol) you should go out with what you came in with. Maybe it’s not fair, but one could question the motive of his or her partner. When Maria Carey made Nick Cannon sign one everybody said that she was smart in doing that, but when a man makes a women sign a prenup they go “You can’t put a price on my love”. If you are rich then you aren’t a regular house wife, you don’t cook you eat out. Like Eddie Murphy said “ What you going to get a job at boutique on the weekends, here’s Three hundred Million and seventy dollars cause I want to do my share”. Get the F **k my face wit that Bull ‘ish. So there you go I’m dead locked” What do you think?

Friday, November 20, 2009

It Looks Like Another Love TKO

I'm going to start this article off with a message from the great Mya Angelou "if someone reveals themselves to you, believe them." Why do we spend so much wasted time on dealing with people whom we know aren't any good for us. A lot of times they drop little hints threw out the relationship that something maybe wrong they ass or that they crazy as hell . Stop thinking you can change people. You can't. Letting go can be an easy process if we stop waiting six or seven years into the relationship to do anything about it. I'm going to break letting go' down into two categories.' Letting go' of the relationship itself, and letting go of the person who made you suffered during the relationship. Hopefully this will be beneficial to you in some way.

If you are dating a man or woman who doesn't want kids and you do let it go'. If you are dating someone that likes to argue and you don't let it go'. If you feel you aren't sexually compatible with that person let it go", because once you let love sneak up in there it will become harder and harder to get out of the relationship. Pay attention to the little things. Only you know what you can and can't tolerate. If you are dating someone who doesn't have family values and you want a family let it go'. If you are dating someone with no ambitions, and you have goals let it go'. Do you see where I am going with this? Basically if you and the person don't share the same views on life how do you expect to combine the two. Letting go of the person can be a little harder than getting over the relationship aspect. A lot of us have kids in these relationships and have to deal with the baby's mother or father. Starting over is the best way to get over the person. Get rid of anything that reminds you of the love you had especially if this person hurt you in any way. It is those moments where you would start to remember the good times, and start to second guess yourself. Go ahead and remove pictures from all over the house unless there in your child's bedroom. Don't wear old jewelry that they bought you or try to be friends with them. Be civil, but don't try to be buddies. By trying to be friends only leaves room for you to act on your feelings at that particular moment. In the end you will see that letting go' of the relationship and person was beneficial to you and your children. It allows you remove bitterness from your heart and move on.