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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Pre-nups: Yay or Nay

I’m deadlocked on this issue!
When people sign a prenuptial agreement they agree, before they get married, how to divide up assets in the event of a divorce! WTF Man ! What gets me is the whole conflict in them: the position of “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you”, with the caveat of “oh, baby but just in case” can you sign this.I do understand the practical level about how prenups are – practical, but on the level of love, I don’t see how you’re allowed to hedge your bets when it comes to marriage! I thought marriage was the ultimate expression of love. Signing a prenups makes marriage an ultimate expression of love with an asterisk *on the side. If you build together than there should be an equal value split amongst the two.
On the flip side if I’m a well to do and you come into the relationship with a bag (lol) you should go out with what you came in with. Maybe it’s not fair, but one could question the motive of his or her partner. When Maria Carey made Nick Cannon sign one everybody said that she was smart in doing that, but when a man makes a women sign a prenup they go “You can’t put a price on my love”. If you are rich then you aren’t a regular house wife, you don’t cook you eat out. Like Eddie Murphy said “ What you going to get a job at boutique on the weekends, here’s Three hundred Million and seventy dollars cause I want to do my share”. Get the F **k my face wit that Bull ‘ish. So there you go I’m dead locked” What do you think?

10 comments:

  1. In this day in age they are almost required. We marry for love, but sometimes, as you have already pointed out, somebody might just have a bigger purse. What if, 6 mos down the line the marriage ends, and your SO wants half of what you have worked all your life to achieve? Are they deserving of that? No? They deserve 6 mos, that is all. Prenups can work, if it works out for both individuals. We go into marriage believing it can last forever, if it does, money or materials should never be a factor. You share everything...but then again, there are as we know some folks who may be up to ill good and just want what you got. For us normal, just above poverity, somewhat middleclass folks, this may never come into question, but let one of you die and see a family come at you with everything they got. A prenup can work even in the the mininalist way, if both parties agree...if not, then go back to the drawing board...believe me you will see if they are in it for the money or for love. Great post. I'm here from Minus the Bars.

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  2. It would be nice is "Happily Ever After" truly existed in 2010. Sad to say to marriages dont last like they used to...People dont work hard enough at love anymore...Some marry for the wrong reasons...Love takes work on both parts...Why walk down that isle if you are not ready to put in your share of the work...

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  3. Thanks 4 ur comment Mizrepresent u defintely shed light on the subject.

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  4. To JStar I definetly feel you on that one.

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  5. I have to be honest and say that if I were ever to be worth millions and decided to marry ... I wouldn't require a pre nuptial agreement. I know it might sound crazy, but I just couldn't see myself putting forth an honest effort while thinking that there's a possibility she would walk away with pretty much half of the monies.

    I believe in love so that would be enough for me. If she gets me ... then she got me. ha.

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  6. Thanks Don I too still believe in love that's why I am deadlock on this subject. Thanks for your insight.

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  7. More than half of all marriages end in divorce. As sad as it sounds, maybe a prenup is the thing to do.

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  8. @ Reggie... More than half do end in divorce, but most of the time it's because of financial concerns so they probably aren't going to be much division of assets. On some level i feel faith is the way to go, but human side of me would want to protect whats mine. Thanx for your comment!

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  9. I'm with Don... with a little additional from my perspective. Let's look at it from a "regular" situation. You're just a hardworking man who marries a girl. Y'all have about five kids in a little less than four years and although she does some freelancing on the side, she mainly takes care of the home, the kids and you while you bring the bread home. Y'all split. Don't you think it's right for her to be able to continue to stay home with your children and run her business while she lives the life she's accustomed to. Remember, it's a "regular" life. What makes this different if you have millions? So, I say no prenup. It may make legal sense when there are millionaires involved, but - you're right - it makes no sense in love.

    I'd like to see every couple sign a prenup: "I the undersigned agree to not turn you into the enemy, lie, yell, scream and change my point of view of you in the event of a divorce. I agree to treat you with dignity and respect regardless of the parameters and reasons of the divorce. I will behave like a civilized adult and remember the reasons I wanted to be with you in the first place in order to make this an easy process. I won't call you out of your name and spread rumors. I agree to make this transition of our lives as easy and as stress free as possible. And, if there are children involved, I agree not to sully your name to them in any way and abide by the common-sense rule that each parent is the only person that can teach their children how to treat their parents."

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  10. @Petula I wish we all could sign a prenup like that, but most people change their minds do to their circumstances (Dog eat Dog). As 4 ur example of a regular life.... no I dont think she should hav 2 sit home wit the kids....but why should it just fall on her. Fathers are deserving of keeping the kids as well...Society would rather place these fathers on child support rather than giving the split custody so that the father doesn't have taking care of 2 households, but that's another story.I can say this because I have joint custody of my daughter and know the hell u go thru to get it. When woman receives half it's usually car, house and kids so it's really an unfair deal. I think at the end of the day a faith driven relationship is about as good as it gets. Thanks 4 sharing

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